We Could All Use a Pep Talk.
The anatomy of a good pep talk, how to be a better pep talk giver, and a pep talk for you.
“Times are hard. I believe in you. We can do hard things.”
That’s what the best pep talks say.
There are usually a few more words than that. But it’s the gist.
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Over the past few weeks, I’ve looked around and noticed our collective need for some pep.
There’s no shortage of evidence that times are hard for folks; one quick scroll through the New York Times app would have anyone believing that everything is bad all the time. When it’s all tunnel and no light, looking for proof of goodness can feel like too big of a leap.
But we cannot give up our pursuit of better days and the ability to just. keep. going.
So, enter the world of a good pep talk.
Today, I’ll lay out the science of pep talks, provide some practical tips for giving a good pep talk, and I’ll close by giving you one of my own.
(Now, you might be thinking to yourself, “Dr. Gettman, didn’t you just write to us saying we should complain more?” Yes. Yes, I did. Same coin, different side. As my girl Brene Brown reminds us, “We cannot selectively numb emotions; when we numb the painful emotions, we also numb the positive emotions.” I’m just helping us be more fully human.)
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Structure Liberates and What the Science Says:
While the majority of “pre-task” motivational literature is based on either workplace leadership or sports1, I think the data is worth considering and extrapolating to everyday situations. (For clarity, this is not a comprehensive review of the data surrounding motivation; it’s just a starting point in the developing research field of pep talks.)
Jaqueline and Milton Mayfield, a husband-and-wife research team at Texas A&M, are the preeminent scholars of Motivation Language Theory.23 Based on their research, they believe there are three components to giving a motivational speech in the workplace:
Empathetic language: Praise, encouragement, and acknowledgment of a task’s difficulty. Emphasizes you as a capable and whole person, even outside the work environment. Ex. “I know this task is challenging, and I believe you will meet the goal.”
Meaning-making language: Clarifies why the task or goal is important and ties the action to the values at hand. Often uses metaphors and stories about why it makes a difference. Ex. “Last week, I received an email from a parent thanking us for restoring power quickly so her child could finish their homework.”
Direction-giving (or uncertainty-reducing language): Specific details, language on how to complete the task, and clarity regarding expectations. Ex. “We’ll accomplish this by placing all the red blocks in the yellow boxes quickly and efficiently.”
The Mayfields stress that the amount of each ‘type’ of language in a pep talk will vary based on the context, but all three types should be included to yield the best results.
Now, I’m hesitant to talk about football outside the context of Travis Kelce and his pop star girlfriend, but the research regarding motivational speeches in the world of football is… entertaining.4
A small study consisting of 151 D1 NCAA football athletes divided players into two groups; one group was shown a 4-minute clip called the “Inches Speech”5 from the movie Any Given Sunday with Al Pacino, and the control group was shown a montage of instructionally-focused clips from the same movie. Those who watched the “Inches Speech” experienced an increase in the emotion of dominance. And while I don’t claim to understand the game of football at any level beyond novice, it seems to me that dominance might be an important factor in a winning team.
The takeaway from the data?
An effective pep talk must acknowledge the inherent difficulty, tie the task at hand to the things we value, give some level of direction or clarity, and ideally, have the recipient experience an increase in emotion.
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Practical Pep Talk Tips:
Emmy award-winning monologues are not necessary.
There’s a picture of a screenshot on my fridge from my best friend from when I moved to Alaska for a summer. I knew it was the next best choice, and yet, it didn’t preclude me from having some amount of fear in moving across the country. The pep talk she texted me is all of six sentences. And it’s certainly in the top five pep talks I’ve ever received.
Choose your words for clarity and care.
Leave the “Live, Laugh, Love” at the TJ Maxx.
Context is key. I aim to ask a few questions to understand what topic I’m pepping on. Generalities and cliches are less effective and don’t usually leave people inspired to take action.
Specificity multiplies motivation.
Don’t reinvent the wheel.
Depending on your level of closeness with the person you are pepping, you may be able to borrow a line from their favorite movie, book, or artist. Don’t underestimate the power of a well-timed Celine Dion song. If you’re stuck, steal my favorite pep TV line from the early 2000s show Gossip Girl, “Sometimes you have to step outside, clear your head, and remind yourself of who you are. And where you want to be.”
Tap into familiarity for impact.
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A Pep Talk For You
(there isn’t any direction-giving language in this pep due to my licensure restrictions.)
During my time living in Alaska, I was the chaperone of a white water rafting trip of 12(!) squealing pre-teen girls. When you go rafting, they tell you that if you fall out of the boat, turn yourself so that your feet are facing the direction the river is flowing, and then calmly look for the rope and the boat.
You might have gotten thrown out of your boat. Hell, you might be getting thrown out multiple times a day. You might be shocked by how cold the water is and how fast it’s all flowing.
Little by little, you can turn yourself in the direction you want to go and begin looking for your anchors. The people, places, and things that will be the rope helping you get back into the boat are waiting.
Deep breaths, flowing downstream.
Rooting for you.
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Ultimately, the best pep talks remind us of the things we know to be true, that we already know what to do, and then put us back on the path toward our higher ideals. And in a time like this, who doesn’t deserve that reminder?
Happy peping!
Dr. Gettman
P.S. If you’re looking for just a bit more pep, consider calling the pep talk hotline at 707-873-7862. The kindergarteners on the other line love telling you that you’re doing great, your outfit is amazing, and you’re crushing it!
A joke for you:
Q: Where do boats go when they’re sick?
A: To the dock-tor!
**Disclaimer: This information is not intended as a substitute for the advice provided by your physician or other healthcare professional. You should not rely on this information as a substitute for, nor does it replace professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always speak with your physician or other healthcare professionals before taking any medication or nutritional, herbal, or homeopathic supplement, or using any treatment for a health problem. If you have or suspect that you have a medical problem, contact your healthcare provider promptly. Do not disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking professional advice because of something you have read in this newsletter. The information provided in this newsletter is for educational purposes only. The use of any information provided in this newsletter is solely at your own risk. Nothing stated is intended to be, and must not be taken to be, the practice of medicine. Information provided DOES NOT create a doctor-patient relationship between the affiliated doctor. Information and statements regarding dietary supplements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration and are not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/carminegallo/2017/11/05/the-science-of-pep-talks-to-build-winning-teams/#679e1f691efe
https://www.physicianleaders.org/articles/the-science-of-pep-talks-and-understanding-the-successful-three-part-formula
https://files.eric.ed.gov/fulltext/EJ1417723.pdf
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/274240979_The_Influence_of_a_Simulated_'Pep_Talk'_on_Athlete_Inspiration_Situational_Motivation_and_Emotion
I don’t know if this is the exact clip but it’s close.