Is It Normal or Is It Just Common?
Get Curious, Not Gaslit. (+ How to Advocate for Yourself in Healthcare Situations)
Sunny Wellness is going on a summer break. I'll be back on August 28th. While I have some great ideas for Q4 newsletters, I'd love to hear from you! Have a question, want my hot take on a wellness trend, or want to share some feedback? Fill out the anonymous survey below to share your thoughts! As always, thank you for being here!
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Two sentences. Seven words.
"Labs are normal. It's likely just stress."
Let me set a scene that plays out every day in every city all over the United States: a patient walks into a doctors office, recites a laundry list of symptoms they are experiencing, the doctor listens for approximately 7 minutes, writes a lab order for simple blood panel, and when the labs come back sends a portal message with a short note, "Labs are normal. It's likely just stress." Repeat.
No other string of words in the English language drives me more bonkers than those. And it's likely not for the reason you think. Beyond being the source of unnecessary suffering, self-doubt, and delayed healing for patients, these two phrases shut down the one thing that good medicine requires: curiosity.
Today, I'll be breaking down the crucial difference between 'normal' and 'common' symptoms, tuning in for truer decision-making, and ending by offering some tips for how to bring curiosity back into your doctor's appointments for better health outcomes.
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Language That Defines & Symptoms as Messengers
Many things in life are common: car crashes, natural disasters, power outages, and foodborne illness outbreaks. However, they aren't 'normal.' No electric company would look at a power outage in a neighborhood and say, "Eh, it's fine," and choose not to fix it. Just because something occurs doesn't mean it's not worth investigating or evaluating the cause to prevent it from happening less frequently again. So then why do we look at our health that way?
Every symptom is a messenger, trying to capture your attention that something is not quite right. Maybe you ate too many potato chips last night, didn't sleep enough, or your inbox is causing you too much stress. The body sends a signal in the form of a headache or stomachache to get your attention. In an ideal world, we'd receive the signal and be able to relate it back to something we did, felt, or believed, and understand not to do that thing again. The body's goal above all else is to stay even keeled, in balance, and functioning. If it thinks you're doing something that is against the laws of nature, it has no problem letting you know.
However, the tricky part lies when we decide that normal and common are synonyms.
In the health world, all sorts of less-than-desirable symptoms have become normalized; afternoon energy crashes, abdominal distension that has you guessing "am I pregnant or am I just bloated?" three times a day, mood swings more unpredictable than the WiFi at your parents' house, debilitatingly painful menstrual cycles, and frequent headaches. It's not normal, it's just common. But, it shouldn't be. (There's an adjacent conversation here about lab values and reference ranges, but that's for another newsletter.)
Health, happiness, and vitality are the norm and also your birthright.
However, we as a nation have swung too far into normalizing and accepting uncomfortable symptoms because everyone around us is also experiencing them. From my perspective, I think the first step in course correcting this trajectory is getting curious about what our symptoms are telling us and then deciding what we need to do about them (because let's be real, sometimes inaction is the best action, like maybe chill on the potato chips.) Part of that curiosity responsibility lies with our providers, but the other part is self-responsibility and radical honesty about what we are experiencing.
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Google Your Own Brain
Bodies of water have always been magical places for me; the ocean, lakes, rivers, and even a simple shower. Beyond the negative ion effects of natural moving bodies of water, being in a body of water automatically precludes you from being connected to a device. Tuning into what we are truly feeling and experiencing often requires switching from an internet browser to decide to instead googling our own brains and bodies. This process can feel awkward initially, but the benefits of tuning in to know and make decisions can't be overstated.
If you're new to the process, here are the steps I use:
Get comfortable, sitting in a chair, lying down, or standing.
Place one hand on your heart, one hand on your belly, and gently close your eyes.
Take three deep breaths. Notice how your hands rise and fall with your breath.
Gently, without judgment, scan your body to notice areas of tension. When you find an area of tension, ask that area a question about what it has to say or what it needs.
Thank it for letting you know. Assess whether a decision needs to be made to honor the symptoms voice.
This process isn't meant to have you start gaslighting yourself about the symptoms you're experiencing, but instead to become curious and more in tune with what needs action and what needs to be listened to and honored in the body. (Likewise, this process may not be a good fit for all folks, particularly if trauma is a part of your story.) My experience as a patient has shown me that when I show up clear and embodied in my experience, providers are often better able to help me find the resolution I'm seeking.
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3 Tips to Advocate for Yourself in Healthcare Settings: Play Offense. Bring Clarity. Invite Curiosity.
1. Bring receipts.
As the Gen-Z folks say, "bring receipts," ie, bring evidence that your concerns are worth taking seriously. Photos of rashes, swellings, or insects that bit you, etc, are incredibly helpful. Likewise, copies of previous imaging, specialist visits, symptom logs, and, if you feel comfortable, bring other people who can attest to seeing the things you've been experiencing.
2. Steal This Phrase: "xyz symptom has been affecting my quality of life and has limited my activities of daily living, such as in my work, home, social life, and others."
Sharing the specific and clear impacts of symptoms will have providers' ears perking up. Impacts on quality of life should be taken seriously.
3. Pre-send Your Questions
If your provider has a tendency to chalk your symptoms up to stress alone without doing further investigation (and switching providers is out of the question), it can sometimes be helpful to send a portal message prior to the visit with your questions and topics you'd like to discuss. This gives them a heads up that you're coming prepared!
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Instead of continuing to hear, accept, and dread the two sentences, "Labs are normal. It's likely just stress," let’s all consider beginning with three far better words: "Tell me more."
Be well,
Dr. Gettman
A joke for you:
Q: What do cows read the most?
A: Cattle-logs.